Tuesday, March 22, 2011

When it starts to become a "threat" rather than the norm

It comes with a huge lump in my throat that I even have to talk about this.  The days where my third child no longer wants to be worn all the time while we are out.  He's two. I knew these days would begin, because I have seen them come before. But the difference is, with our other children, I was pregnant with the next before the child was done being worn, so I never had this feeling of loss like I do this time. 

Does it seem silly to just feel so absolutly bummed out about my son wanting down to run down the sidewalk with his siblings instead of being up on my back?  In a way I think it sounds so crazy to think this way, but on the other hand..it powerfully sucks. 

I have had babywearing in my life for six years, practically straight.  And now it looks as though those days are over...

Today while we were out I wrapped our son up for a long walk to Tim Hortons and the pet store in our area.  Getting him in the carrier was hard enough.  I knew there was no way that he could walk both there and back so I knew babywearing had to happen.  He seen his wrap and went "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and took off into the kitchen.  I grabbed our mei tai which has been a hit for him latley and he shook his head a bit less enthusiastically but none the less he was making it clear he wanted to be FREE today.  I got him on my back anyways, and we headed out, after about thirty seconds of complaining he gave up and was content the rest of the way.  On the way home however he was furious and wanted to run with his older brother. So I let him down. 

Sometimes he would start to go up on peoples lawns or near the side of the road.  "Do you want to go up on Mommy's back?"... he would say "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" and behave. I would say "then I hope you are going to stay on the sidewalk then where its safer."

Oh my goodness I am using babywearing as a threat now!!!!!?????????

This is just so depressing for me.  Totally bummed. While I know that our babywearing days arent completly over, face it, I know that playing hard at a park leaves a two year old tired and not wanting to walk, so I know I will get to wear him probably another year at the least... but to be making it a threat? Even just this one time?  That totally bums me out. 

Like I hardly know what it feels like to not have a child "strapped on" to me somewhere while I am out LOL. 

I have a lot of people tell me that I'll manage, and I know I will, and that it is a new journey ahead, that there is far more to parenting than babywearing... that I know too. But when its been such a routine, its going to be a difficult one to let go of. 

Just felt like pouting a little this afternoon while the children napped all cute... covered in a wrap ;)
(Gotta squeeze it in somehow)

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